This is where I explain the story behind the blogs. Watch it till the end.
I am not ashamed at all to be a skilled ghostwriter.
I would never do ghostwriting for money. However, helping the love of my life to express herself is a noble pursuit.
I will never lend my words to anyone else in my life. My words are sacred and precious. I can never sell my words. However, for the Faerie Princess, Annelies Broeders, I make an exception to this rule, as she requested and still asks my help to express all the emotions she cannot herself express, because she doesn't allow herself to, as she suffers from a deep childhood trauma.
Doing what I did require a lot of writing skills, empathy and sensitivity.
And it is the Faerie Princess herself who did not want to share exactly how she wrote her tales, as she wished each of the words she publicly endorses to be taken seriously, by her entourage and all her readers.
And I am going to tell you something else, and to share something painful with you, something I never speak about usually, as I too, keep a deep trauma, a trauma as deep as the one the Faerie Princess suffers from, about war.
I however forbid to my readers to ever speak of this subject to me, and this is why I will not allow comments to be posted on this post, specifically. I have a deep phobia of this subject.
If I get beyond my phobia to write about it, it is to help the Faerie Princess, and also to help her entourage understand better who I am.
I was a teenager. 15 years old. I had excellent grades at school was appreciated by teachers and classmates, had a loving family. I had everything to be happy.
Except that a war started. It was in July 2006. It lasted for one month. The images below are pictures I personnally took, at 15 years old.
What are Dutch teenagers busy with at 15 years old? Drinking beers, smoking weed, going out, partying, exploring their gender identity. For the most serious ones, like the Faerie Princess, reading, studying, daydreaming.
What was I busy with at 15 years old?
Seeing my country destroyed. Risking to see someone I loved die, risking to die myself.
In August 2006 I created my first blog, called http://guerreauliban.blogspot.com/2006/08/
You will see my name on that blog, and you will retrieve all the pictures displayed below. It is a blog I kept from 2006 to 2009, displaying images of the devastation, of my family, of the garden, of the sea.
It is my father who insisted on taking me to take pictures and understand the folly of human beings and of war. I do not keep these pictures on my computer, as I really do not like to see them, but I still have them on my old blog. You can explore the archives of that blog to find all the pictures used here. In a couple of days, I will remove them from this blog.
Time stopped. (2006. South of the capital, picture taken by me a few days after the end of the war)
And those pictures were taken at the entry of a destroyed zone. Most of buildings no longer existed. But for our own safety, we did not enter into the most devastated zones. My father and I went together there, one afternoon. I was 15 years old. I still remember that moment.
This picture is taken also by me, in 2006, during the war. It is at 10 minutes from where I live. We heard the destruction of this major bridge of the highway, over a valley called Fidar. One person died, the poor man was doing his jogging passing under the bridge. It is my grandfather who took me there, a few hours after its destruction, to witness what had happened. There was no longer a road.
The same morning my father passed on this bridge ten minutes before it was destroyed.
I circled the house in red, wondering how it still remained there, despite what had happened.
This is another view of the same bridge, taken by me.
It was very strange to stand in the middle of the highway and see no road, no possibility to pass, in front of us.
We lived in a complete blockade. Every village, every town, was isolated. We were entirely powerless.
And the worse is that we had nothing to do with this conflict. We just were collaterals. Myself, my family, and the Mounts of Ylliriel, is a neutral region that is at peace with everyone. And yet, this is what happened to us, without reason, just because mad, hateful people, from both sides, decided to have an armed conflict.
All the infrastructure was systematically destroyed. I do not want to enter into the details of the nightmare we lived. Yet I think that these pictures I took speak on their own.
The tone of my blog in 2006 was light, on purpose, so deeply shocked I was by what had happened. It took years before to well understand its horror.
You need to go through the archives of my old blog to find these pictures and many more. I will not share more of them here.
The closest bomb that fell was at around 500 meters from where I lived, on an antenna. The soil shook under our feet when it happened. Hearing all day and night long airplanes hovering in the sky was a nightmare too.
We had luck to live in a peaceful region, where only some key points of the infrastructure were destroyed. So in the region where we lived, there only were very few casualties. Yet, the fear, the terror, the blockage, the shortages of everything, the oil spill in the sea, the uncertainty, were terrible to live, and left a deep scar in me.
Dutch citizens are so much concerned about laws.
And I ask to those citizens. Where is the law that protected me, and my family, and millions of innocent people who lived and died under bombs?
Where is that law, please?
And, what is our fault? Are we at fault for being born in the wrong place, the wrong country?
Dutch citizens are so much diffident of strangers. And they all hide behind the law of privacy to avoid having human interactions.
But, they should open their eyes. They perhaps have the luck to live in an island of peace, but millions of people around the world do not have their luck.
And there is a collective responsibility, of all the people who live in wealthy, peaceful countries.
If you use fuel, gas, coal, electricity, energy, plastic, electronics, be notified that there are countries that are at war to produce those goods you are using in order to carry on with your comfortable lives.
Ukraine, the Middle East. Each regional conflict is related to the control of strategic resources. Strategic resources you use, forgetting that there are people dying every day because you are not ready to live a more simple life.
I, as millions of people worldwide had to endure the fear of a bomb falling over my family and I, killing us, or gravely wounding us / crippling us.
And you are scared of a few letters, of a few emails, and nonsense of the kind?
And you are so much concerned about laws. But if those laws fail to protect one part of the world, then, it means that those laws are flawed.
And you cannot throw the responsibility on the countries that have problems, because everything is interrelated, and everyone is responsible.
My country till the 1960s was entirely peaceful, and among the wealthiest countries in the world. It is the decisions that large, powerful countries of this world took, that made my country so fragile. If you read history thoroughly, you will understand what I mean.
Unfortunately most people do not have the time / patience / focus needed to read and understand history. They read newspapers' titles, without trying to understand the whys and the hows.
What I mean is that I will not take life lessons from people who had the luck to live their entire life in a peaceful place, and who have the luxury to be concerned with unimportant laws that are not even fair.
I am a person who respects the laws. Yet, I place morality above laws. When I see an unfairness, I act, without asking myself one thousand times whether what I do is at 100% or at 95% in agreement with the law. I know and have experienced the limitation of laws. When a bomb falls, no law can stop the bomb from falling.
If the Faerie Princess cannot express herself, because cold, unemotional persons wounded her in an inconsiderate way during her childhood, I will of course not remain silent.
The persistence of her blogs for the last five months prove very clearly that her will is to be helped, and that each word she publicly endorses, in her name, with her face, is authentic.
Perhaps some of our readers consider they have been "fooled". Yet that word is entirely inappropriate. If the Faerie Princess did not suffer from a real trauma, she would have called her parents over the phone and settled everything. There would have been no need for fictional blogs.
The Faerie Princess suffers from exactly the same kind of trauma than the persons who lived war, and this is why since the beginning, she and I related so deeply. She has lived the war, and the cold war, between her parents, and that has devastated her childhood and her life.
After the public revelation the Faerie Princess and I decided to make, I felt as if our readers starting thinking our ship was sinking, securing their escape.
Yet, these readers are wrong. The aim is to arrive to a point where the Faerie Princess will be able to express herself on her own, not through fiction, but in real life. Ghostwriting for the Faerie Princess while keeping the lines blurred was a major phase of that process. Now, a new phase is starting.
This revelation changes nothing, and doesn't remove any authenticity to each word that has been published. On the contrary, it makes everything clearer, and the position of the Princess more understandable.
The main question now is: where is the Faerie Princess.
If the Faerie Princess is in the Republic of Ylliriel, her parents should take the first flight to come see their daughter.
The comment section on this post is closed, as I do not wish to get any comment about the topics I do not like to speak about.
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