A short walk in the garden

A short walk in the garden...  

From the rooftop of the barnhouse / Finding in her a Godmother

Today I recorded my daily video from the rooftop of the barnhouse (Thursday 3rd of April).  

You can also read a private, password-protected post called "Finding in her a Godmother": https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/04/04/finding-in-her-a-godmother/

The password is the same as usual. 

From the rooftop of our house / 2nd of April

Today I recorded my video from the rooftop of our house. The weather was mostly sunny, after the thunderstorm of yesterday evening with a bit of rain.  

Melting snow

Today I recorded my daily video from our garden around our house, as water from the melting snow on the mountains flowed in the little canal that connects us to the River Adonis (Nahr Ibrahim), that was known since the time of the Greek Mythology. 

And you can read "More about yesterday's anecdote" that is a private, password-protected post: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/04/02/more-about-yesterdays-anecdote/

The password is the same as usual.

And I posted a new post on Linkedin that you can read here, on my Linkedin profile: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7312797207970172930/

A not very pleasant encounter / and a bonus

Today I recorded my video from the field of wild asparagus (exceptionally, as Monday was a holiday and we went to the garden by the sea with my family). But, in the wilderness, I made a quite unpleasant encounter (a snake) and you will see in the video all my surprise, as I was not really expecting that.  

Also, you get 3 bonus videos today. The Wiseman-of-the-Sea recorded a special video for the family of the Princess. But while doing that, he too had a sort of disadventure, slipping from the rocks and falling (a bit into the sea), thankfully without harm for himself, but breaking the glass of his cellphone in his fall.

You can watch the videos recorded by the Wiseman-of-the-Sea on this private password-protected post https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/04/01/the-wiseman-of-the-sea-speaks-to-the-family-of-the-princess/

The password is the same as usual. 

From the field of wild asparagus / 30th of March

Today I recorded two videos for you. A public one, and a special, private one, where the Wiseman-of-the-Sea very briefly and spontaneously appeared, but I do a lot of interesting talking in this second video and show you the garden by the sea just before the sunset.

This is the first video in the field of wild asparagus after running 5 km. 

And this is the link toward the private, password-protected post, where you can watch my second video: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/31/the-flowers-of-the-garden-as-the-wiseman-of-the-sea-briefly-appears/

The password is the same as usual. 

Close to the sea / 29th of March

Today I recorded my video from close to the sea, that was really strong! 

There is something new in my story with Annelies. Something unexpected, that I think is positive, or very positive. But for now I cannot say more about it, before understanding it entirely. What I can say is that the wall of silence is getting thinner.

The Pelican of Batroun

At a few kilometers at the North of Amchit, there is a beautiful, historical port town called Batroun. Modern Batroun is a small town known for its historical buildings, its Phoenician Wall along the sea, its salines, and its restaurants, its pubs and its nightlife. Its lemonades are also famous. I used to often go there in my childhood, to visit again and again the narrow streets of that picturesque town, to look for pebbles and marbles on its beaches and to drink an iced lemonade.

Now, Batroun has a new mascotte: a pelican. And the fishermen and fisherwomen of Batroun even created an instagram page for their pelican, who lives on the port, freely, and strolls in the historical town. You can watch the daily adventures of the pelican on this instagram page https://www.instagram.com/bajou3etelbatroun as well as the landscapes of Batroun.  Or you can search for this instagram page using the handle @ bajou3etelbatroun bajou3et means pelican, el means of (or van), and Batroun is the name of the town. This page already has almost 10 000 followers. Now the visitors who go to Batroun also wants to see the pelican. 

In front of the barnhouse / 28th of March

I recorded my video today in front of the barnhouse! The weather was very hot, but it turned cloudy, windy and colder this evening. 

You should read the latest posts Annelies published, they are very interesting! 

A historical agreement

You can read "A historical agreement" a private, password-protected post on: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/28/a-historical-agreement/

 

From the rooftop of the house on a warm day

Today the temperatures climbed to be much higher than the seasonal averages, reaching 25°C. Tomorrow will be very warm too, before an important drop on Saturday, with a wind storm and a bit of rain. My video is recorded from the rooftop of our house. It is brief to give you the time to watch again the longer videos recorded for you this week (especially the video with both my parents appearing). 

Also I have written a private, password-protected post that you can read on this link. It is called "The birthplace of Van Gogh": https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/28/the-birthplace-of-van-gogh/

The password is the same as usual. 

From the rooftop of the barnhouse / 26th of March

I recorded my video from the rooftop of the barnhouse today and kept it short because I want you, dear Red-Oak to watch again the video of yesterday, showing you our house, and the video of three days ago, where both my parents appeared, showing you the unity of my family, when it comes to the question of Annelies and me.  

Also, today there was another good news for Lebanon. The Prime Minister (Nawaf Salam) who was a judge in the Netherlands (presiding the International Court of Justice of The Hague) has announced today the first plan to build a new civilian airport at the North of the country. We now have one international airport, in Beirut. Having a second airport will allow for more tourism, and to economically develop the North of the country. You can read this article about it: https://www.businessnews.com.lb/cms/Story/StoryDetails/12368/DAR-launching-study-of-Rene-Mouawad-KleyatAirport

Lebanon is a small country (a bit more than 10 000 km2) and that is the reason for which it had only one airport. For years they were speaking of building that second airport (where a small structure already exists), but because of the economic crisis, political problems and geopolitical tensions, nothing was done. 

Now for the first time in a long time, we have a very serious President and Prime Minister, who are well-respected by the international community, and that will mean very positive development for the country in future. 

Also, as an interesting anecdote, it is the civil engineering company where my brother works that will do the preliminary study of the construction of this airport. But he doesn't know yet if he will personally work on this project.

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Also, you can read "Piece of Correspondence", a private post I've written to complement what you read about, that I as always sent to Red-Oak directly: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/27/piece-of-correspondence/

Another story about Red-Oak

You can read on this link another private, password-protected post called "Another story about Red-Oak": https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/26/another-story-about-red-oak/

Enjoy your read. 

And let the truth triumph. 

 

Connecting the dots!

Today I decided to connect the dots, by showing you our house in Amchit in an exhaustive way, so the video is pretty long (11 minutes). You can watch it on this google drive link (because of its size it cannot be uploaded directly here): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KF_jUrj8f9zQFtbDbG_HEaEgS6jVgGQm/view?usp=drive_link 

It is made for you, Red-Oak, as you doubt of everything, and you distrust everything. You can see every single room that composes the house, including the garden and the rooftop, along with my explanations. 

The reputation of an "Earl"

You can read "The Reputation of an Earl" on this private, password-protected post: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/25/the-reputation-of-an-earl/

The password is the same as usual. 

 

Number of views per month

This particular blog gets in average between 200 and 600 views per month, that come from different persons, different devices, different countries. And those are only the visible views. There are various ways not to do views (vpn, ad blockers, etc.) so in reality there are many more views.

Over one year, this blog was visited 4080 times (but in reality, with the views that do not appear, this number is much greater). 

This blog does not get "random" views. Usually all those who view this blog know Annelies or me. My family is not included in these views, as I share with them directly the texts I want them to read.

The last three months have been a crescendo of views, after a phase with a little less views as I was writing less.

 

A proposition

My proposition is, for all those following this blog on a regular basis and who are touched by this story, to record a video while speaking, in a nice set up (the video can be in English for those who do not speak Dutch, or in Dutch for those who are native to the Netherlands), and to send this video to me for me to forward it to Red-Oak and the rest of the entourage of Annelies.

It's just an idea, and not a request, in the sense that if anyone is inspired by that proposition they can of course do it. 

In the video you can say your name, explain your background (to show that you are a serious, trustworthy person) and then explain how you have met me (and you can speak of my family, of my siblings, or my parents, if you have met them too). Every little proof or evidence you can give in the video is welcome.

Do not do it with the expectation that this video is going to change everything, and allow for direct contact with Red-Oak. As we have seen this is a long story, and things will take the time they need to take. But such videos from those who follow this blog can be helpful. They can help Annelies and I score a few more points in the eyes of her entourage.

The video can be 5 minutes long, or even longer. It will never become public. I will only upload it to a private google drive folder, sharing the link to the video on google drive only with the five main actors of the entourage of Annelies who have been following this story all along, and receiving my emails on a daily basis.

And this is not an "obligation" in the sense that if you don't feel it, please do not do it, and you do not have to explain yourself. It's totally understandable that this story is too complex, and you don't want to get directly involved.

One last thing: as the video is on google drive, if you change your mind one day, I can in one click delete it from there. 

As I've said in the past, there are 10 to 15 persons who follow this blog (excluding the entourage of Annelies and my family). Some who read it on a daily basis, some who visit this blog once per week, some who only read it from time to time. So my message is for those persons, and it's just an idea I throw on the table. 

I have many other ideas that do not involve getting external help.

Also, you know that the tones I use with Red-Oak are sometimes really "hard" and "blunt". But you also know my intentions are always positive. You also know that I do not hesitate to mix fiction and reality, and that, in order to remove this wall of silence, I do not hesitate to use a lot of fierceness.

You do not to approve of all that in order to do a video, as you are not in any way responsible of what I do, but you need to be okay with it. If making it makes you uncomfortable, please forget about it, you don't need to discuss it even.

And I share this message publicly, because even such messages contribute to put pressure on Red-Oak, as, he is a distrustful, and private person. He of course does not like how this story has become public, how there is a "public trial" against him, a literary, poetic, fictional yet real "trial", and how the public who follows this "trial" can participate and even play the role of "witnesses". So the mood, the setup, play of course a role, in making Red-Oak even more fearful, prudent, pushing him to question himself and what he did.

And that is an image of how, in real courtrooms, there is also a setup that is aimed to impress the persons suspected to be guilty. So, I'm recreating this atmosphere, online, in a fictional realm. 

Even if only few among of you will be willing to do this video, the very idea of it, puts more pressure to Red-Oak, as Red-Oak is scared this discover that all what I am saying is true. Each little proof that goes in this direction greatly unsettles him.

On the rooftop of the house - 24th of March

Today I recorded my video on the rooftop of the house, on a mostly sunny day. 

I kept my video short as I want you, dear Red-Oak, to focus on the video I sent you yesterday where my parents appear. Watch it, and watch it again. 

And do not ever dare to think this story is over, Red-Oak. What you did to Annelies in her childhood is unacceptable. Your current lack of comprehension toward her is also unacceptable. 

And you are going to hear me, Red-Oak. For now, I've been kind and compassionate, and have pitied you, and I am still pitying you. But remember that this is not over, and that pity has limits. Annelies will obtain justice over her broken childhood. And you will have to hear, even if that implies being a little less nice.

And even if for you this sounds absurd: how can a child, after becoming an adult, ask for justice without having a law in her favor? Laws are made to change. Human beings are more important than laws. And you know nothing of Annelies if you think, dear Red-Oak, that she will admit defeat.

She is going to change and twist the law (even at the cost of writing a book, or a series a book about it) till when people and society take conscience that what she lived was not alright, and that a revision of the law so dear to your heart Red-Oak is necessary. A law that allowed you to wash your conscience, as each human being knows deep down what is right and what is not. When the law allows us to do what feels wrong deep inside of us, then it is a wrong law. 

A video with both my parents

Today, exceptionally, I recorded two videos for you Red-Oak. One, in front of the sea on the beach, and the second this evening with both my parents. This latter video is the strongest, most intense video I ever recorded for you, and you will have to listen to it and watch it with a lot of attention.

The first video is public here, while the second video is private. You will receive it by email, and you can open it from this private, password-protected post https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/24/with-the-wiseman-of-the-sea-and-dreamy-painter/

The password is the same as usual. 

From the garden by the sea, on a fair, cold day of Spring

Today I recorded my videos from the garden by the sea that belongs to my grandparents. It was still very cold for the season, but it was also sunny.

Exceptionally today, I recorded two videos. You can watch the first one directly above, and the second one on this link on google drive, as it is too long to be uploaded here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M_yYG9c5SfimA0wgPn_bMjgJ3vZ2ULdR/view?usp=drive_link

You will learn a lot of things by watching this second video. 

I really like the latest post Annelies published on her blog! This place she describes sounds like a really nice and cozy place! 

A demo of what a gifted writer can do

Today I recorded my video on the rooftop of the barnhouse. First day of Spring, coldest day of March. I saw at 1 pm 21°C in Dordrecht - Breda versus 10 °C in Amchit ! So it was 11 degrees colder on the coast of Lebanon respect to the Netherlands. Over the mountains, it snowed at 800 meters altitude. We have several mounts that reach 2700 meters and the tallest is at 3100 meters. 

On another note I wrote a very strong post called A demo of what a gifted writer can do: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/22/a-demo-of-what-a-gifted-writer-can-do/

It is private and password protected (same password as usual). Read it at your own responsibility, if you choose to. 

A cloudy, cold rainy day

Today was a cloudy, cold, rainy day and temperatures dropped to 7°C in Amchit... 

This is a picture of today's snowfall in Ehden, North Lebanon, at one hour drive from Amchit https://www.instagram.com/p/DHbjs1OohYI/?img_index=1

You can just check @livelovebeirut / livelovelebanon on Instagram

And that's from livelovekfarbediane https://www.instagram.com/p/DHbEbGjsuED/ close to the ski resort of Faraya, showing the generous snowfalls the mountains received today, despite being already the 21st of March

There are three ski resorts that are at 1 or 1 hour and a half drive from Amchit: Faraya, Laqlouq and Les Cèdres. With my parents we used to go to Laqlouq or Faraya almost every weekend in my childhood. 

But it's been a long time I do not ski!

That's the official page of Cedars ski resort, for instance: https://www.instagram.com/cedarsskiresort/

In Europe, people often travel to Switzerland for instance to ski. In the Middle-East, people travel to Lebanon to ski. 

But, dear Red-Oak, you of course ignored that. This is not what the news focus on. News like to sell sensational titles, without going in depth. And Lebanon is a tiny dot on the map. So you litterally knew nothing about my country, except a few very negative things that were not even true. 

You can look on instagram or any social network by typing the names of all Lebanese towns and you will find beautiful daily pictures, of narrow historical streets, of snow, of sea, of nature, etc. These pages are followed by tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of followers. Many are official pages. They cannot lie. 

And focus on Jbeil / Byblos (the town closest to Amchit, that is a beautiful historical town) and Batroun that is at 20 minutes North from Amchit, also a beautiful historical town, that is also a very trendy place for nightlife. Batroun is like the "Lebanese Ibiza", or something of the kind. 

Thanking Annelies for her dedication on Bluesky

I wish to thank Annelies for the public dedication she made to me on her Bluesky profile, along with a beautiful poem. 

Red-Oak: I think it's difficult to make a clearer statement. I think it is time you look at the truth that is here, in front of your eyes. You've made a grave mistake. You understood nothing of what your daughter was feeling. You've hurt an innocent person. You've hurt your own daughter with the decisions you took, refusing to forgive when you could have chosen to, in an egoistical way. But, life is giving you another opportunity Red-Oak. You still can make things alright. By doing what is right, now. 

 

Inchiostro returned after 48 hours

I'm really glad that this morning Inchiostro returned after 48 hours of absence! I was really starting to worry, but I didn't want to say anything on the blog before being sure he would return, so I only spoke to Annelies about his absence. Especially with the stormy weather we have...

Those are two pictures of Inchiostro (black and white) and Foglia (gray) taken a bit more than one month ago, on the rooftop of the barnhouse.

Inchiostro and Foglia are brother and sister. They have two other brothers. Mandorlo (who is white). And Calamaio (black and white) who mysteriously disappeared 5 months and a half ago, and did not reappear yet. Calamaio disappeared on one of the worst days of the war, so perhaps something he heard (distant noises) unsettled him. 

We never had a cat reappearing after more than 10 days absence. But I read stories of cats who return after several months or even several years. So, I still hope, and I still call his name every day. 
 

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And there was a great resemblance between Inchiostro and Calamaio, as they almost looked like twins. So, there could be another symbol, another thing behind the disappearance of Calamaio. 

Twin cats... twin souls...

If you watch the videos of last summer, you will see Calamaio often appearing in them, as he loved to play with water when I was watering. 

I personally love each of our cats like little children. It's been three years and a half I give them all their meals personally, each and every day, with the help of my mother who helps me prepare them (except when she is in Beirut). Since 2020, I did not go on vacations, did not travel. So our cats are used to see me every single day. Sometimes my brother helped me, but lately he really doesn't have the time, and is here only during the weekends, with a lot of studies for his master and for his work.

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On another note, you know already that my mother bakes bread with the yeast she herself prepares and keep alive over the years. Her "mother yeast" (lievito madre) has been alive for more than two years now, since she first started using this old Italian recipe. With this yeast, she can prepare any kind of bread or of cake, without needing to add any other form of yeast. The preparation is a bit longer, but it is very healthy and tasty.

Now, in the last weeks, my mother kept her preparations to a minimum as she had to stay all the time with my grandmother. But this is one of the breads she prepared (really not the most impressive, as she's been really very busy).

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Red-Oak, aren't you ashamed of what you did?

From the rooftop of the barnhouse as the windstorm started

 From the rooftop of the barnhouse as the windstorm started.

I also wrote a new password-protected post, called A Viking name https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/a-viking-name/

The password is the same as on previous times. 

It is long, but I hope you will enjoy your read.

In front of the barnhouse with my little friends

This is my daily video for you today, taken in front of the barnhouse (western part of the garden, toward the north) with my little cat friends.

And this is a new post I wrote and posted on Linkedin, called "When time stopped": https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7307739880137064449/

It was difficult for me to write it, but probably necessary to express all these things...

Because, as I heal my trauma, I also help Annelies to heal hers. 

From the lower part of the garden, close to the small valley

Today I recorded my daily video from the lower part of the garden, close to the small valley that becomes a water stream during the winter.

I show you a lot of fruit trees I planted myself around 15 - 18 years ago that started flowering or doing fruits. 

After my 5 km run / Skiing and swimming on the same day

Today, after my 5 km run! We had unusually warm weather for March (temperatures reaching in between 15 and 23°C in Amchit) with even a lot of people on the beach to enjoy the sunny weather.

In three - four days temperatures will drop to in between 7 and 12°C with rain, wind and snow over the mountains, where 50 cm of snow are expected on the ski resorts. 

Today was one of these typical days of swimming and skiing on the same day in Lebanon. 

I do not often go to the mountains, but I am going to share with you some official instagram pages that post pictures from one of ski resorts of Lebanon. It is called Live Love Kfarbedian (Kfarbedian is located in Faraya, at 1h and a half drive from Amchit). You can see the daily videos and pictures of the snow on Live Love Kfarbedian: https://www.instagram.com/livelovekfardebian/

Yesterday there was a celebration of night skiing with various illuminations, fireworks, etc. Today there was a marriage between two famous athletes I think. They also show the sunset from the mountain. And you're going to recognize the same typology of clouds and horizon than those I post on my Bluesky account, except that those pictures are taken at 1700 or 2000 meters altitude. 

When they post videos and pictures on that page, they are taken the same day. So when you see the current amount of snow, it is what remains now on the ski slopes, despite the high temperatures and low levels of precipitation we had on the coast in the last days. But soon it's going to snow again. 

The mother instagram page of Live Love Kfarbedian is called Live Love Lebanon / Live Love Beirut (it has 1 million followers) https://www.instagram.com/livelovebeirut/ 

Live Love Lebanon shows daily pictures / videos from nature, beaches, ski resorts, parties, cultural events, touristic landmarks of the country. 

So you can follow these two pages on a daily basis to discover more of my country. You can see their posts even if you do not have an instagram account. I do not know the persons who manage these pages, but I know they are references, and introduced the hashtag livelovelebanon a long time ago. 

This, in reference to the joyful spirit of the people of Lebanon who really like to live life at its fullest, and also as a way to resist all what happened in the region in the past. Also because Lebanese people are proud of the unicity of their country, that is very different from the rest of the Middle-East. 

So today, if someone wanted (and for all the month of March), they could swim and ski on the same day, as the sea is cold (but the temperature is acceptable under a bright sun), and there is still snow on the ski slopes.

All that is dedicated to @Red-Oak whom Annelies calls the Earl, who treated me as a "slave coming from a land of terrorists and violent people". Yes, I want to show him how ridiculous his attitude was, how hurtful his words were. Yes, I want him to feel ridiculous right now, because, it is what he deserves. And he made much worse than making me feel ridiculous 6 years and a half ago. He wounded me and hurt me and harmed me and slandered me, and I am still carrying this open wound in my soul. 

I want justice. I want words of excuses.

From what I know, despite being a colder country, you usually cannot swim and ski on the same day in March, in the Netherlands. And those people who know too little about geographics, about world geographics, and judge other places in the world just basing themselves on prejudices, surely would never imagine seeing active ski slopes in Lebanon, Middle-East, at the middle of March. 

And our landscape and our geography forged us, as people. We do not accept to take lessons from anyone who looks down on us, and we do not deem our country inferior to any other country, not even to Western Europe that believes itself to be the center of the world. 

Yes, we can learn from one another. But it should be done in mutual respect.

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Ah, on second note, I add a funny video from tiktok. I do not use tiktok, it is my father who received it, and sent it to me, as I told him about my wish to write you more about Lebanon and the spirit that animates this land: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qxPuZk8aSieaGI-NrPi-aYTXFLPZCxS4/view?usp=drive_link

You can open the video directly on google drive. I do not want to post it here, as I do not even know those persons. But as it's an original wedding that was filmed, this short film became viral. It's not everyday people get married while wearing skis, on a ski slope. 

Lebanese people love weddings (and to invest money in making grand weddings). It's a bit stupid, from one side, as it is too materialistic, but also shows people are romantic and attach importance to this holy celebration. If you have tiktok, I suppose that by looking for the same hashtag lebanesewedding you'll find more videos of the same kind. 

It also shows you how free women are and how freely they behave, contrarily to the rest of the Middle-East.

Close to the sea on a sunny, warm day of March

Close to the sea on a sunny, warm day of March...  

Look at this picture I took today.

Despite the emotional dullness Annelies feels in her heart, she wants the truth of this story to shine with all her might. The end word has not been written, Red-Oak, and you are not in the power to write it yourself.

It is Annelies and I who will write it together, and it will be a happy ending. And it will involve a mea-culpa from your side.

Showing part of my daily harvest

Today I showed part of my daily harvest (radishes, sweet potatoes, watercress, fennel, various sorts of salads, etc.). The spring is starting to arrive. We will have some days in between 15 and 23 °C in Amchit (very warm for the season) and then days of rain and snow over the mountains in between 8 and 12 °C, starting from the middle - end of next week.

Red-Oak, aren't you interested to come taste the watercress and discuss this whole story around a plate of bread, olives and watercress?

The progress of my new raised bed / La Viola Vola

Today I showed the progress of my ned raised bed, and a new perspective on the garden. 

Also, read La Viola Vola, new password-protected post, with the same password as before: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/14/la-viola-vola/

While building a new raised bed and sweating

Today my video is the exact opposite of that of yesterday. Yesterday I was more in my "gentleman's clothes" and today rather in my "farmer setup", as I recorded it after an intense physical effort of digging a new raised bed in the sunniest area of our garden. 

And if you judge me, Red-Oak, for taking care of the land, do not forget your origins. Do not forget that your father used to love working in the garden, and he continued to do so as long as his back allowed him to. So even if you despise the work of the land, or never got interested in it, it is a well-anchored tradition in your family. And perhaps, you are wrong. Perhaps if you stayed less in your papers, less in front of a screen, a more inside a garden, you would lead a happier life. Perhaps if you were a bit less ambitious, and a bit more authentic in your pursuits, you would find a new balance. And perhaps you would have learnt the meaning of forgiveness by spending more time in nature, and in shaping nature. Taking walks in the forest and giving botany lessons is not enough - it's theory. You need to shape life (vegetal life) with your own hands - that's practice. 

And perhaps Annelies wouldn't have her childhood trauma if you had chosen the right values to guide your life, Red-Oak. I am not saying you are a bad person. You are a good person, in general, but you could be better. And you did some grave faults, with your daughter, and with me afterwards. Those mistakes cannot be disregarded at this stage. That is why you have to endure my daily emails, that is why you need to listen to me, without being able to speak. It is the contrary of what happened six years and a half ago, when you gave me the same kind of treatments that were reserved to slaves two centuries ago. You spoke (badly, very badly, as you lied) and did not allow me to speak. 

Now, you are trapped within your own game, and you have become prisoner of your own silence. I can do almost what I wish to do, I can write almost what I wish to write (within certain limits that I set, as I am a fair person), and still you cannot leave your shell, because you've imposed on yourself this rule of silence, instead of accepting dialogue from the start.

Again, you always thought to know everything, and the rule of silence is something you've learnt, something cultural, something deeply ingrained in you. You believe "if I remain silent, he will get tired and be discouraged."

But you don't know me, Red-Oak. I am in my right, I have been saying the truth from the start, and you have wronged me. So your rule does not work with me. And Annelies is from my side, and she is guiding me. She knows you perhaps better than you know yourself. She knows your qualities, but she also knows your shortcomings. And she is guiding me to tackle those. She is not indulgent toward you. She wants to see a change in depth. She wants justice, first and foremost for herself, over her broken childhood.

Your daughter, Red-Oak, who resembled you so much, has rebelled against you - out of love. She loves you. But she cannot accept the state of fear and confusion in which you plunged her, because of your wrong choices. And she cannot accept your arrogance, of believing you know everything.

This is why you were trapped in this story. Reserving me the kind of treatment reserved to slaves, when slavery was abolished many decades ago, for your information. You should have checked your facts better, Red-Oak. But vanity and cultural and "racial" prejudices caused you to precipitate in this lie and in this mistake. 

Now, as I said, we are in inverted positions. You are under accusation this time. And I am not basing my arguments on lies as you did. The points I am raising are valid. And it is a public "trial". All the friends of Annelies and I can follow it in real time, express their opinion. Everything is done within limits of compassion, respect, dignity. Values you ignored back then, and didn't adopt with me.

But I am better than you think, and better than you were. And despite you disregarding all values of hospitality, of compassion, of giving each person a chance, I will give you a chance, and I will keep on giving you a chance. This means that the day you say "I was wrong, I'm sorry" this story, this public "trial" is over Red-Oak, and we can shake hands and be friends. My attitude and position is constructive, contrarily to yours back then.

I am firm, yes. I am not sending you flowers. My words are blunt, honest, perhaps hurtful in their truthfulness. I have no other choice, as Annelies has a life trauma, which is very difficult to heal, and as you hurt and wounded me six years ago in an almost irreversible way. You will have, Red-Oak, to accept to take the responsibility of what you did.

Refusing any further humiliation

You can also read the password protected post I published now, called "Refusing any further humiliation": https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/12/refusing-any-further-humiliation/

 

Giving life to another blog

Lately I am publishing some poetry on another blog that belongs to Annelies and me, called https://annelieserik.wordpress.com/ 

For long, I was publishing my poems with the pseudonym of the Prince of Ylliriel, out of discretion, and because I felt insecure of all what had happened. But now, on that blog, my identity and that of Annelies are clearly unveiled!

I repost some of the poems I post on my Bluesky account there. I also wish, once again, to insist on the importance of my Bluesky account that now counts almost 970 followers https://bsky.app/profile/erik-zakhia.bsky.social

This is a way to share pictures of my surroundings in a daily basis, together with my poetic thoughts, other than in the videos I record. 

In that way I challenge even more deeply the wrong vision Red-Oak had of me, and my homeland, and the lieful words he slandered me with. 

And I ask Red-Oak. How many sunsets does he sees per year? How many times does he sees the sea, or the mountain? And how many books does he read per year?

He treated me as a person deprived of culture, of internal and external beauty. When in fact it is his life that is gray, and frigid. 

A very inspired video

A very inspired video. Watch it till the end, Red-Oak! Taken from our living room in Amchit. 

Explaining the story of the stairway I built

Explaining the story of the stairway I built, while climbing those stairs in the company of Foglia. Then talking from the rooftop of the barnhouse. 

I also posted a new private password-protected post, called A new connection: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/11/a-new-connection/

The password is the same as before. 

From the garden by the sea / Wild asparagus in pictures

Today I wanted to take my video with the sunset, but my family was in a hurry, so I did not have the time and instead did it in the garden by the sea that belongs to my grandparents, where I take care of a large orchard. I also had a bountiful harvest of wild asparagus for my family, that my father placed in scene in the pictures below. 

I also ran 4.5 km + several kilometers of walk, so I ran 9 km in two days. Sports has always been something I liked and was good at, from jogging to hiking, from soccer to ping pong and tennis, and swimming, and skiing, and many other sports including real and invented ones. In the garden during summers mixing imaginary and existing sports such as playing golf with a soccer ball in a large hole in the ground, in between the trees of the garden. 

I also had a slight disadventure this evening. I'm again alone in Amchit and all of a sudden I saw the garden was inundated with water. The water from the melting snow was coming in the canal that connects us to Nahr Ibrahim, one of the main rivers of the region. But it is not supposed to inundate the garden!

I discovered a dam over one of the main branches of the canal above of the garden that caused water to overflow in great quantities. I could more or less resolve the problem and that allowed the water to go down in level. But now, there is a lot of mud everywhere! And I had to work just with a headlight, as it was night already when I discovered the problems, thanks to my cat friends who came to call me, noticing something unusual. Fortunately the water did not come inside the house (anyway, the house is slightly supraelevated, so that should be avoided, even when it rains very heavily for several days in a row, like it sometimes happens).

Updated rainfall / 9th of March 2025

 

Updated rainfall / 9th of March 2025

July 2024: Total = 0 mm

August 2024: Total = 0 mm

September 2024: Total = 70 mm

Days of rain: 6

October 2024: Total = 5 mm

Days of rain: 2

November 2024: Total = 140 mm

Days of rain: 14

December 2024: Total = 225 mm

Days of rain: 13

January 2025: Total = 70 mm

Days of rain: 4

February 2025: Total = 135 mm

Days of rain: 11

March 2025*: Total = 1 mm*

Days of rain: 1*

TOTAL = 645 mm*

Days of rain: 51*

------

During the same time last year (2023 - 2024)

July 2023: Total = 0 mm

August 2023: Total = 10 mm (1 day of rain)

September 2023: Total = 0.1 mm (1 day of rain)

October 2023: Total = 410 mm (11 days of rain)

November 2023: Total = 380 mm (11 days of rain)

December 2023: Total = 230 mm (8 days of rain)

January 2024: Total = 400 mm (21 days of rain)

February 2024: Total = 280 mm (11 days of rain)

March 2024: Total = 125 mm (11 days of rain)

April 2024: Total = 35 mm (7 days of rain)

May 2024: Total = 35 mm (5 days of rain)

June 2024: Total = 0 mm

From July 2023 till the end of February 2024 I therefore recorded 1710 mm of rain for 64 days of rain.

------

Comparison

The comparison is truly striking. Over the same time period (July - end of February) we had 645 mm this year, contrarily to the 1710 mm of last year. Last year, the amounts of rain that fell were above the average, while this year, they are below the average, accentuating even more the sensation of drought I have.

And what is the average?

Even though no official data exist for Amchit, I had a great, great uncle who used to record rainfall, and the average was around 1000 - 1200 mm per year. As a comparison, the average rainfall in Beirut is 700 mm, but Beirut is dryier. 

And it's been three winters I record rainfall, but the first two years my data were more experimental. I always recorded more than 1200 mm.

This year in fact it is especially the lack of rain in January that is now giving this impression of winter drought in the garden. And it will really depend of the rainfall we receive in March, April and May to decide to what extent 2024 - 2025 has been a dry year: if it's a really bad drought, or if this impression of drought will be compensated by later rainfall. 

Now, in the weather forecast there is no rainfall in the next 10 days, and instead we will have temperatures 10 °C above the average (the average is 17 - 10 °C in March, in Amchit). That can happen. Three years ago, we had an extremely cold month of March for instance, with temperatures consistently underneath 10°C, reaching as low as 4°C. And, that means abundant snowfall all over the mountains, as the nearby mountains are much colder than Amchit.

Usually the ski season lasts from December to March, so an average of four months. Usually March is a cold and rainy month.

For now, the start of March this year has been mild, and dry, and it will get even unusually warm during the next 10 days. Let's hope that in two weeks, we will have another cold front, with rain and snow, as for nature and agriculture, we need water and snow. 

The Mountains of Lebanon are considered as a Castle of water, as they keep snow on their peaks till May or June, and on the highest peak the snow remains from year to year in shaded areas. So as the snow melts during the Spring and the beginning of summer, it provides the narrow plains along the coast with water, even when the weather gets warm and dry (from June to September) it rarely rains. 

It's been years that I observe meteorology and climate phenomena as a side activity. Already from the times of being a student at the American University of Beirut, we had a very dry fall in 2010 - 2011 that inspired me to write a story (fiction writing) but also to start studying, on my own, meteorology and climatology, as that drought made me worry for the environment, and I wanted to understand if it was the result of global warming. That year (2010 - 2011) instead of starting at the end of September, we had to wait till the beginning of December to see the first rainfall, with temperatures well above average during the entire fall season. But then the storm that struck was extremely strong.

Fortunately that pattern did not repeat the years afterwards, and that year, there was a strange El Nino, La Nina, phenomenon in the world.

I'm not a climate expert, but I know a lot of things about this subject. I used to be the Administrator of a meteorology page on Facebook, describing the climate and meteo of Lebanon on a daily basis, along with six other people passionate by the matter, and our writings about meteorology and climate were followed by more than 100 000 persons. But when I closed my fb account because of what happened with you Red-Oak, and the harm you caused to me, I quitted that side activity. But that page I contributed to create still exists.

And I kept that interest and passion for myself over the last 5 - 6 years, and when we moved to Amchit, I started measuring temperatures and rainfall on a daily basis, to help me with my permaculture and agroforestry work, but also just out of intellectual interest. 

I am a unique person with a unique identity

The fair weather continues, and we will have days well above the monthly average in the upcoming week in terms of temperatures. I ran 4.5 kilometers today, and also walked several kilometers. I did not run more as during the week I got a slight distortion of my left ankle, because of my work in the garden. But, running 4.5 km is already a good distance, and few people are able to run such distance without walking. Last Sunday I had run 8 km. And, when I do my jogging, I do not walk in the meanwhile, meaning that I run constantly. 

And as I do everyday I've posted some pictures from Amchit along with poetry or short writings on my Bluesky account: https://bsky.app/profile/erik-zakhia.bsky.social and if you follow closely what I write, post, and share there, you will see some novelty, but I will leave the honor to Annelies to speak about it first.

Red-Oak, again, I wish to remind you that what you did was unacceptable, for a whole series of reasons, and could seriously impact your career as an Earl, in a very negative way. The only attitude you can have is that of open humbleness, that of careful listening, in order to find a way to repair the harm you did. 

Also, with all the talks of the last days in Europe you have a taste of what we've lived in Lebanon in the past. Fortunately for you, you are at Peace, and those "illuminated" declarations of your politicians wishing to wage "wars" will only remain empty words.

You know that, because of what I lived, because of my trauma, I do not like to read news. But on Bluesky, I follow people and get to read what they post. And my own father also likes to keep me updated.

What I wish to tell you is that wars are meaningless. And it's true that Uk... defended themselves against the Ru.... aggression, but it's also true that after 2, 3 years, continuing to fight over relatively small territories is completely meaningless. People die, are wounded, whole countries stop their development, people live in constant fear, and hate.

So, the Europeans, right now, by wishing the Uk.... to continue their fight are totally wrong, and it's clear that you have not lived wars on your own soil for a long time. Because, if you had been in such painful and dreadful situations, you would understand that a slightly uneven peace is better than a good war. 

And anyway we are very far from a good war. There have been abuses, from both sides. And to say the truth, there are no good wars in the 21st century. 

So, are you taking lessons from a Lebanese, Red-Oak? You thought us to be violent people who delighted in violence, but you were totally wrong. It is the people like you, who think like you, who fight over the resources of this world, in a cold, compassionless way, and who do not care for little countries that are entirely powerless and the poor civilians who live there.

I am not saying that you personally support war, but I am just saying that a lot of people living in the wealthiest countries of the world (Netherlands is part of those) and who have similar (prejudiced) ways of thinking than you, support or supported war, directly or indirectly, by wishing to have a very high level of living for instance, that implies high consumption of resources (oil, gas, rare metals, that all come from zones of this world that are often the theater of territorial disputes).

Are you now realizing the depth and diversity of your mistakes? Going from lying, from abusing of your power as an Earl, to also committing the moral sin of holding racial prejudices accusing me to harbor cultural traits (of violence, lack of respect, etc.) which do not even exist.

Now, it's a matter of ego for Europeans. You (and when I say you I do not imply all of you, but at least your political leaders, those that rule you) want to show that you still have a weight on the world chessboard. But it's all a hypocrite lie, as, living in the comfort you grew into, you are not capable of doing the kind of sacrifices that war demands. And that's fortunate, as the world really does not need more wars. But it shows you the failure of a certain type of mindset. 

And even if we all agree that the Rus.... are bad and often did this kind of things in their history, it is time to get over it, to pardon, forgive, build peace and reconstruct.

It is true the Uk.... were victims, but they now have to get over it, if they want to have a harmonious future. 

That is the fundamental of Christianism. Pardoning. Forgiving. Something totally alien to you, Red-Oak.

Yes, a war between nation is like a "war" between a husband and his wife, like a "war" between a father and a mother. It is the same kind of unforgiving "violence" or "coldness" that reigns, even though at different scales.

That is why Annelies considers herself like a "war" victim. Annelies is a deeply fair and harmonious person whom you Forced to live in disharmony for years. You forced her out of her coccoon of happiness, into a harsh, uneven and unfair reality, of trials, of disputes, of cold words and even colder looks, of second wife and second husband, and of being constantly judgemental about her fantasy, dreamy vision of the world.

And you were Wrong. 

And you are still Wrong. 

And now you are seeing it, not only at your individual scale, but at the scale of an entire continent. Of the model of Western Europe, of the EU, that shows it is failing, and it is based on hypocrisy more than on real values. 

And what I am saying is true, and you know it. You are dependent on the Ru..... gas, to warm yourself, to light yourself, etc. Are you ready to live with candles? Not to go to work? Not to go on vacations? Not to turn on your television, etc.? Of course not. So you can't pretend to fight the Ru.... when all your commodities are dependent upon them. 

The only solution is to find a way to build peace. And also, in future, to reconsider your way of living, this way of living that all the people of Earth in every country of the world now want to have. It is the Americans and Europeans who made the industrial revolution in the beginning of the 1800s. It's you (or your ancestors) which invented capitalism, etc. and spread it to the entire world. And now we are paying the consequences, because resources are limited, and also because we are facing threats such as global warming. You had 3 consecutive days with the highest temperatures ever recorded in the early part of March, with 18-19 °C over the last days (yes, I also follow Dutch climatology).

The fact of being Lebanese does not mean I am not clever, or even cleverer than most of Dutch people my age. The fact of being Lebanese does not mean I do not care for the Netherlands and for the Earth. Contrarily to many idiots who just think to enrich themselves and live their life of relative luxury, such as those "friends" of Annelies who understood nothing of her and judged me so harshly.

Now, it was almost ironic to read one of your newspaper saying you should get food and provision for three days, in case of a conflict. I know this will fortunately not happen. But do not forget you have a second house and family in Lebanon. You can come to take refuge here in case.

Sorry about my joke about this serious theme, but, after all what happened I had to make this joke. We are at peace with both the USA and the Ru... We are peaceful people. We have become a peaceful country that will become even more peaceful and stable in future. 

But you, are dangerous, violent, irresponsible, manipulative Europeans who wish to continue to sell and send weapons to the Uk...  continuing to hold a war on the grounds of others!

Again, I'm kind of joking. I'm showing you the contrary of the situation that happened 6 years ago when you judged me so harshly Red-Oak. I am not a person who hold prejudices, but I am also a free spirit, and I am not afraid to say things as they are, or even to express them lyrically, in an intense way, to make my point clear. 

In fact, Red-Oak, are you responsible for the mistakes your government makes? No, if you do not vote for them, and peacefully oppose them. Yes, if you vote for them, and think like them.

Choose.

With this reasoning, I was really not responsible for the mistakes a certain party in my country (h....) made as I never voted for them and participated to peaceful demonstrations and marches asking the State to control all weapons and its entire territory. And as I wrote yesterday, it took a war to reach that result. But now it's over. And I was always loyal to my ideals. 

And, most importantly, I had nothing to do with the wrong and lieful and slandering image you painted of me, Red-Oak.

I've showed and proved to you that on many levels. And the words and writings and publications of Annelies have come to confirm my words, my version of facts, publicly. 

How can those words be public if Annelies does not believe them, and consider them as the final truth?

There is no other possible explanation, Red-Oak. No other possible explanation that I was saying the truth from the start, and that you were fooled by your own prejudices (and your daughter is not responsible for them, for that wrong way of thinking, she many times denounced to me in her writings, calling it the "Dutch pragmatism" and speaking of an "emotional dam"). So the only responsible is you, as you took the decisions you took in all freedom. 

And I've showed you on multiple levels how foolish and harmful those decisions were.

Do you know how proud Irish people are, Red-Oak? I have something of them. Do not forget your daughter and I both love Celtic / Irish culture and music, that your daughter used a celtic name before disappearing on fb. I am as proud and as stubborn as Irish people are, in a good, fair, and clever way. 

That means I will not give up and find very creative ways (you did not at all expect) to shed light on the truth. 

And, I have nothing "Arab" in me, if we consider prejudices about them. In Mediterranean countries (southern cultures) people had the tendency to see me as a Swiss or German, in the sense that, I am punctual, I always delivered my work in time and pretended the same from others, never closing my eyes on their fault, but doing it with respect, firmness and kindness. And that is why I was so succesful in my studies and in my work, and why I left a really good memories in all those who worked with me. Even Annelies was surprised by those organisational qualities I have, when it came to writing together our novels. I am hard-worker, creative, innovative, and I like to think with my own head and follow my own path. 

And anyway, Lebanon is not even an Arab country. It has an Arabic facade, but its origin is Phoenician and Christian, and it also has a European facade. 

And, as each human being, I am unique. And, on top of that, I am also Italian, French and even Colombian. Those cultural traits are mixed in me, giving something unique, and obviously different, as apart from me, my sister and my brother, I do not think anyone in this world has exactly those 4 different citizenships.

You cannot define me by one of my citizenships, because I am unique, different. And this is why Annelies and I connected so deeply, because she is also unique and different, and certainly did not recognize herself in many aspects of the Dutch culture, and anyways always dreamt to live in a country with mountains. 

I end my long post with these words and a wikipedia page in English: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Lebanon

and in Dutch https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libanon_(gebergte) to let you guess where there are high, snowy mountains, close to the sea.

Showing my daily salad / and speaking of your complex of superiority, Red-Oak

Showing my daily salad and explaining how I innovated with regard to concepts of permaculture and agroforestry on the family lands I take care of daily since 2020. 

Also I speak of your complex of superiority, Red-Oak on this password-protected post you can read here: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/08/your-complex-of-superiority/

Talking of the lack of rainfall while walking in the garden

Talking of the lack of rainfall while walking in the garden... It is true it was very cold during the month of February, but it did not rain enough in January, and February did not compensate that lack of rain.  

On another note, dear Red-Oak, you are only seeing the tip of the iceberg of my determination to obtain justice and a mea-culpa from you, as well as a change of behavior toward Annelies and Green-Rose. 

Making my little cat friends play / Annelies and the cat Tara

Making my little cat friends play... We have six adult cats (Rugiada, Grigina, Raggio, Inchiostro, Mandorlo and Foglia) and four little ones (Boscolino, Grandinetto, Albetta and Ventino) in the garden. I take care of them all daily and feed them, and teach them to play, and to act as a family, in a united way, with values of brotherhood / sisterhood I wish to see more among human beings too. Our cats stay most of the time in the garden (1200 square meters + rooftop of the barnhouse) but from time to time they climb on the fences to go explore the hill of the abandoned railway that is like a wood, or the nearby valley / river.

We very unfortunately lost Fieno last summer, and Calamaio mysteriously disappeared in October.

Am I the "dangerous Lebanese boy" Red-Oak accused me to be six years ago?

Or did he lie, victim of his own prejudices?

Annelies used the picture of a cat, after having to reject me, forced by a rigid and emotionally depleted environment to deny her feelings for me, knowing, fearing, her feelings would be judged by those surrounding her, and feeling so panicked to lose love a second time, after having lost the love of her parents in her childhood - or that's the way she felt after their separation. A divorce that traumatized her.

So, when Annelies was submerged by pain, by anger and by shame, she replaced her picture by the drawing of a black cat. She called her black cat Tara, because there is a famous cat with the same name in the USA who saved the life of a little child.

I let you guess why. 

For Annelies, the divorce of her parents felt like death. She used that word to describe how she felt to me.

And so, who is the bad and ugly character in this tale?

Me?

Or... 

Those who deemed themselves above the law?

Those convinced of their racial and cultural supremacy?

Those who did not have enough compassion to listen and understand to the pain of Annelies?

-

And if Red-Oak does not understand the reference to the name "Tara" associated with Annelies and a black cat, let him ask to Little-Flute what I am referring to. But of course, none of you ever understood the reason of that name, of Tara. None of you ever tried to understand Annelies. Her drawings, her poems, her silences, it was all the same mist for you. You were all blind. 

Sorry, but this is the sad truth.

-

Showing the place where I started building a new raised bed

Today I did my daily video in the garden, showing the place where I started building a new raised bed. 

Today my parents have written again the Earldom, directing their words to Red-Oak. Again, the Wiseman of the Sea, speaking in the name of the entire family, offers the expression of his best feelings to Red-Oak.

But, I do not expect an answer right now. Not yet. 

It's a build up of emotions, of words, that will one day lead to a response. But the Princess will probably herself do a move, when she sees Red-Oak and Green-Rose are ready, when she is not scared anymore. Or perhaps it will be Little-Flute who will convince Red-Oak to do something. Or it will be Red-Oak himself. I don't know yet. 

But, the absence of response that is ongoing for 1 year and six months in front of very polite messages from my family well shows the distrustful mindset of Red-Oak, a cultural trait he and the rest of his family carry. It also shows that he is powerless, and fearful of what he has done to me - fearful of the consequences it could have on him - instead of being displeased / ashamed and trying to make things alright.

This is just an observation of how things are, and I trust that we will reach a happy ending to this story, and that we will make the wall that surrounds the heart of Red-Oak fall.  

I read a sentence today that I really liked: "Art defeats silence." I believe this sentence is true. Silence will be defeated, because it is not a fair silence. It is a silence of distrust, of emotional numbness, of half-truth. Silence will be defeated.

The poetry of Annelies and I will defeat it.

Annelies is publishing very strong writings on her blogs.

And I had forgotten one her writings she posted a few months ago, called "A case of corruption in North-Brabant" that you can read again on this link: https://annelieskiewietbroeders.wordpress.com/2024/10/10/a-case-of-corruption-in-north-brabant/

I don't know why, but it resonated with me!

Showing you the sunset from the rooftop of the house

Today the sunset was particularly colorful from the rooftop of our house, and I decided to show it to you.  

Red-Oak, what you did in the past plunged me into the deepest of pain, in the darkest kind of clouds that exist. But I've learnt to contain this sadness, this sense of betrayal I feel. You are responsible for all what happened. And you will have no other choice but admit your mistakes one day, and adopt a humbler attitude. As I said to you already, you are invited, you and the entire family, to come visit me in Amchit. And do not worry, I will not receive you as you received me 6 years and a half ago. 

I ran 8 kilometers today

Today, for the first time in years, I ran a long distance again. 8 kilometers of race, and 2 kilometers of walk to cool down afterwards. 

And it is your fault, Red-Oak, if I started running long distance. Because the unfairness you committed against me created in me a deep discouragement, not to use the word depression, as I am too much of a fiery person to be depressed. But, I was discouraged for years, carrying a heavy weight in my chest, having lost my pride, my honor, my happiness because of your inconsiderate acts. 

I am not a person of the street, or a stupid young person without dignity, who can accept such treatments and go on. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who do not respect themselves, and who may accept what you did to me, and just go on, because they are not neat, honest, courageous, fair, intellectual persons as I am. I've seen many of those people, Swiss, Dutch, whatever, on the streets, drinking, drugging themselves, etc. You may reserve the kind of treatment you reserved to me to those people, and they will surely not start a quest to claim their innocence.

But I am a fair, brave and loyal person, and I do not have vices. So I cannot drown the unfairness I've been victim from, as other people may do. I just carried it in my heart for years, too fearful to write you again, or even to write Annelies again, after what you did, because to me, Red-Oak it was madness from you to act in this way. My intentions had always been good and fair, and if I tried to write the entourage of Annelies with so much insistency, it is because your daughter used the word "death" speaking of herself. "I will die in six minutes" she wrote to me, the title of her story, refusing all direct communication. Also, Annelies had clearly told me that nobody in her entourage understood her, listened to her, etc. What was I supposed to do? Stay silent? Or try to reach to you and tell you that Annelies was not doing well, and needed your support and your listening?

This is the tricky part you never understood, Red-Oak. Your daughter was not doing well (and is still not doing well). This is what you refused to see. And in all honesty, I had to do something to help her, as I love her with all my heart, and as I also felt a strong sense of friendship and loyalty toward her. If you take back all the texts I sent back then, you will see only my concern and my care for Annelies in them. And it is her who asked me to express, with her words, from her perspective, what she couldn't express.

Then, she denied it all, out of fear, because she was traumatized by your divorce in her childhood, and feared to get engaged. Introducing me to you all would have meant sort of getting engaged, making my existence official. Seized by panic, she preferred to deny it all. But she lied, and I hope that this is clear to you now. And you trapped her into her lie with what you did, Red-Oak. You did something tremendous and lowly, perhaps without knowing, yet, you are at fault. Gravely at fault. 

Annelies was battling with a mild "depression". In January 2016 already, she wrote me that my words had taken her out from a phase of disinterest in life. Because for several months I did not write her, and on the 8th of January 2016 I wrote her again.

Then, the same happened in January and February 2017. Not only was Annelies losing interest in life, and feeling entirely disconnected from her emotions, but she avowed to me she was on the verge of making a burn-out, because she had too much pressure with her studies and all her side activities, and that none of them fulfilled her, or made her happy. Again, I helped her.

So when Annelies, in February 2018 wrote me of death, after having stopped speaking to me since September 2017, it really scared me and shook me.

But you, Red-Oak, her own father, was not concerned. Because you didn't know. But also because you refused to listen. I did not have your contact back then. I tried to contact your second daughter. But your second daughter illustrated herself with a total lack of courage, refusing to even listen. What could I then do? Write the few friends I could come in touch with. Without success, except in the case of Yna, who once sent me a sign of appreciation. Yna, the oldest friend of Annelies, who encouraged her to write in her teenhood. But that ended there. In despair, I wrote more between August and September 2018, as the behavior of Annelies was really worrying for me, and her words, her mention of death, haunted me. Do you know, Red-Oak, how many persons took away their lives, or lost their lives, because nobody took seriously the fact they were not doing well?

I still remember a bridge in Lausanne, le pont Bessières, not far from where Annelies and I met. There was a commemoration sign in the middle, saying that on the 24th of December, on Christmas' Eve, a young person who felt lonely had decided to jump from the bridge there, falling in the lower part of the city, 50 meters below. From that day, there is a tent on Christmas' Eve there, to welcome anyone who feels lonely. 

It's true Annelies had a family, but it's equally true that she wrote me many times being extremely frustrated with you and her mother, who did not listen to her, who did not understand her. And writing me many times about the terrible weight she compared to a black hole of the lost memories of the divorce. And then, after telling me that she needed me in her life and could not afford to lose me, two weeks passed and she broke all contact, in a terrible way, with no explanation. To six months later send me those two texts speaking of intense pain, and death in six minutes.

What was I supposed to do Red-Oak? What? 

How would you have acted in my place?

All her idiots of "friends" understood nothing, preferring rather to put it on the level of a cultural confrontation, deeming themselves much better than I have. And her sister did not even read my words. And so no word reached to you.

Because, when someone is not doing well, like in the case of Annelies, it is also typical to try to hide it, I think. She opened her heart and her soul to me, and then closed herself entirely, thus losing the only person with whom she could be entirely honest. This is why in her correspondence to me you have in your own hands since February 2019, when I first wrote you, you discovered many things of your daughter that you didn't know, and that nobody knew, not even her sister, who should have been her closest confident. And you cannot doubt the authenticity of these words, as they contain many details, even some crude details about you all. I cannot have invented or figured out those details and family stories and memories. And that correspondence shows a level of connection and trust in me from the side of Annelies that goes much deeper than you would have ever imagined.

You chose to hide your hand in the sand, Red-Oak, but you can't do that anymore. This story is almost public now. You have your role as an Earl to think about. Your ship has a hole in it, and water is coming in from all sides. You have no other option than to change ship, to change conviction, to change mindset, to change attitude. 

You wronged me, in an unfair way, when my intentions were pure. Yes, I went far in my words and insistence, because your daughter spoke of death. I did not have the choice. 

Any loyal, faithful person in my place would have acted in the same way, and on top of that, I am a writer, and so is Annelies, so words, stories, poetry, multiple points of views, is our reason to live and our most valued skill. So if you read our correspondence, of course, you will noticed that. 

And if you read my correspondence to you since September 2023, dear Red-Oak, you will also notice that I never showed myself unforgiving. Yes, my words are hurtful, but you deserved it with your tremendous and shameful acts. But I always offer you my hand, I always offer you to make peace, and am concerned by the welfare and happiness of Annelies, as well as obtaining words of regret from you all. The two are complementary. To make Annelies happy again, to bring joy to her heart, to make her get rid of those dark thoughts and ideas, this sadness and this anger she carries in her, and this fear, you will have Red-Oak to show me appreciation, and more importantly to forgive her mother, as all the knot is there.

-

Now, let's go back to me. I ran 8 kilometers today. Over 200 students at school, I was the 3rd in athletism. I was fast, and enduring at the same time. I used to regularly run 6 - 7 - 8 kilometers, and participate to 10 km marathons, and sometimes in Switzerland I ran more than 10 kilometers in slope (hills, valleys, forests, starting from Lausanne toward its heights). 

But because my heart was heavy, I used to run short distances or not to run at all in the last years. I had a lot to do in the garden, a lot of physical activity too, but of a different kind. But just a few runs, and mostly in the last two months. But today for the first time I could overcome this mental block and run again a serious run, and for me, this is called healing, and it means that I am doing what is right, and writing you the right words, that are helping me heal, and helping you understand how deep and tremendous your mistake was, and think of a way to repair it, in mutual peace. 

But I will not lower my tone in the meanwhile, because I waited 1 year and a half since I started writing you regularly. And it's been 6, 7 years I wait for this situation to be corrected and my acts to be seen in their true light. 

And Red-Oak, you know, right, where I discovered your contact. It is in your terrible act and mistake that you revealed and exposed yourself in such a way, showing how little you had thought of consequences, and how lowly was your opinion of me, mistaking me for one of those persons you see in the streets, close to train station, smoking, drinking, or worse. 

And I am not this kind of person and have never been, and will never be, Red-Oak. I am a virtuous person. I am intense, yes, I do not follow conventions when conventions are wrong, yes, I call for fairness and justice in a fearless way, yes, but I am myself a fair, just and enlightened person.

And, I continued this post in private, in a post called "What you did is shameful" to get more into details that I prefer to keep private in order to keep the privacy of Red-Oak: https://amchitdordrecht.wordpress.com/2025/03/03/what-you-did-is-shameful/

La Valse d'Amélie Poulain / A parallel

Have you watched Amélie Poulain, the French movie, dear Red-Oak? If you hadn't you should, it is an original, romantic story, with some beautiful music, that will remind you of my story with Annelies. There are many parallels between the story of Amélie, and our story, and in fact, Amélie meets a boy who is her twin soul (or something of the kind - they share a very deep connection, but kind of look for one another, till when they find at last one another at the end - and they use very strange and creative things to communicate indirectly, just like Annelies does with me).

My sister who is very gifted musically can, of course, play La Valse d'Amélie on her piano. She has a real piano in Beirut, and a smaller, electrical one in Amchit. But, as you know, for her studies (while working as a freelancer at the same time) she is in Italy. 

That could interest you, Little-Flute, if you just decided to listen to your own heart, instead of living in fear of a threat that does not exist. I promise you, one day, Little-Flute that you will laugh of yourself and your own fear, and decide it was really stupid. Because among everyone, you have the less reasons to be scared, and yet, you are.

Haven't you understood yet we are gentle persons, persons of art and music and books and true feelings? My family and I. Don't we feel authentic to you? Can't you relate on some topics with my sister for example? Aren't you slightly ashamed of having closed yourself to her, and to a possible way to communicate, just out of fear that doesn't even deserve to exist? How can a sweet girl your age, with similar interests than you could ever hurt you, or represent a threat for you? It's absurd, isn't it?

Perhaps you are scared for your father, for Red-Oak. Or you are scared of his reactions. Or it's a mixture of both. And you are also upset with the Princess, with Annelies, for what she did. 

But, Little-Flute nothing is sweet as pardoning, as reconciling. 

Ask yourself (all of you) why is Annelies allowing and encouraging all what is happening to happen. Why is her image, her name, her face, so closely associated with mine? Why are our words so strong, and so truthful, even though unusual and unconventional? Why do these words resonate so deeply within you, Red-Oak, Green-Rose, Little-Flute? Why?

Think of that...

It rained a bit today here. I recorded a longer video for you, from the garden, an interesting one with an interesting conversation that you can watch directly here on the same google drive folder: https://drive.google.com/file/d/185v719Gq_DqpLGQqCJ7aSJ21xgdK8u4Z/view?usp=drive_link

I tell you about my day, and I show you the afternoon light in the garden.

Also, just give a look to my Bluesky profile to see how Annelies and I have embraced our bond and our connection publicly https://bsky.app/profile/erik-zakhia.bsky.social

While this blog is followed by 15 or 20 persons on a daily basis, my Bluesky account has 890+ followers and is seen by thousands of persons daily. You can see how clearly the names of Annelies Broeders and Erik Zakhia are associated, and how deep, pure and strong is this poetic, lyric, artistic, intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection. 

Ask yourself, dear Red-Oak, how is this possible after what happened 6 years ago and what you did? How? The only possible explanation is that you Lied, and you understood nothing of your own daughter. And, as an Earl, breaking laws is a grave thing. And as a Father, misunderstanding in such a way your daughter is also a grave thing.

Just visit my Bluesky profile (and all our other blogs) and look at our connection with your own eyes, and try to make sense of it, of what happened, and of how badly you wronged me.

https://bsky.app/profile/erik-zakhia.bsky.social