I will give a first reason for which I do not blame the Princess - Annelies - in all what happened, but rather place all the blame on Red-Oak, and the rest of her entourage.
There are several reasons for that, and I will only explain the first reason for now.
---On a side note, there are some Dutch citizens I met that I really appreciated. I do not believe all the Dutch citizens have the same mindset as the entourage of the Faerie Princess.
But, a way to put pressure on Red-Oak is also to speak of this cultural element, because he undervalued my culture and discriminated me on my citizenship, and so did all the people around Annelies, family and friends. I received kind words, or polite words, from none of them.
In my culture, hospitality is sacred. When a stranger visits, you never treat him or her badly, you make an effort to be kind and polite. Because, on a foreign land, a strange is without defence.
When what happened happened, I received no kind word, no kindness, from anyone. They just all looked at me as a dirty stranger, or a monster, who had nothing to do in the Netherlands.
So, of course, I often criticize the Dutch culture, even though, in truth, I truly appreciated the Netherlands, its landscapes (I love them) and even its cheese (which I knew already since my childhood, as my great grandfather already greatly liked Gouda cheese). But, I was deprived from the pleasure of appreciating the Netherlands with what happened, and everywhere I went after the events I described in my password-protected post yesterday, I felt a general unkindness toward me. I was probably not lucky.
Anyway, a mistake most of people do is considering Lebanon a third-world country. In fact Lebanon, till the 1970s, was the Switzerland of the Middle-East. It was nearly as wealthy and developed as Europe was. Because of unlucky reasons, there were several decades of challenges. But, Lebanon remains a prime land of culture, history, and education. Our universities are as qualified as Dutch universities. People who study in Lebanon and travel to Europe always obtain good results, or even excellent results.
In the password-protected post I've written yesterday, I explain in details, quite crudely, how I was treated, and how I continue to perceive the wall of silence Red-Oak has built, as clearly, it is a lack of respect.
Had I been a Dutch citizen, this story would have never happened.
But now let me go back to the main reason for which I am writing this post.---
In reality, in 2018, after what happened, during the first months, I was angry with the Faerie Princess and blamed her for all what had happened. It took me time to move away from anger, resentment and fear, to be honest.
But, because of the morse code communication Annelies held with me on the closed blogs, I started to understand better what had happened, and why.
Annelies has written a story, with her own hand, that explains everything. It is called The Ballad of Finuë.
The Ballad of Finuë is not a story I have ghostwritten for Annelies. It is a story she herself wrote, shortly before the sad events that happened, showing, in the Ballad of Finuë that Annelies knew and foresaw what was going to happen.
Please, you can click above on The Ballad of Finuë to read again that story. I do not believe any of you has given this story the attention it deserves.
In the Ballad of Finuë there are two races in conflict. Elves, and dwarves. Annelies portraits herself as an Elf, as Finuë of the Gentle Heart, who lives in trees with her elven tribe. And she portrays me as Harganith, a dwarf. There is no friendship and no love allowed between elves and dwarves.
But one day, Finuë was singing in a tree, and Harganith finds the courage to climb on top of the tree to meet her, and he starts playing the flute (= writing together). They fall in love with one another.
But, the Chief of the Elves is the father of Finuë (= Red-Oak or the Earl) and he suspects something, and starts watching over his daughter, using the most jealous elves to spy on her (= her friends). And they discover everything, and catch Harganith, and judge him, and put him to death.
And the Chief of the Elves locks his own daughter, disappointed by her, asking her to renounce to this love.
Harganith is put to death.
But Finuë refuses to comply with her father, and she manages to escape, and she goes and dies with Harganith. And from her tears sprout a tree that keeps the soul of Finuë and Harganith.
What happened to me is not as bad as what happened to Harganith, but nearly. And Annelies was apparently not as brave as Finuë, because of the weight of her childhood trauma. But in reality, in all her acts, Annelies felt a tremendous weight of her entourage. Before even introducing me to them, she heard already in her head their critiques, their mockeries, their judgements. And this is why she fell into this terrible state of panic, that Red-Oak seized.
So, through The Ballad of Finuë, Annelies clearly expresses that, in her heart, she has always been from my side, and that she is ready to do the ultimate sacrifice for love. It is a beautiful and tragic story, and shows that, beyond fears, Annelies has a grand soul.
One year and a half ago, Annelies reminded me, through the pen name of the Princess of Ylliriel, that, in order to reach Reunion, I had to understand that she had always been faithful to me, despite appearances.
So, this is one of the many reasons for which I do not blame Annelies, but those who created around her, since her early childhood, this climate of judgement, of discrimination, of lack of openness.
The dream of Annelies was to be a writer. Her architecture studies were a torture for her, her side jobs too. But her entourage never understood that, and kept of pressuring her. In February 2017, Annelies told me that without me, and my encouragements, she would have done a burn-out, so much pressure she felt from her family, from her parents, to always achieve more. When she embraced me in her arms for twenty minutes in front of Delft Station, the same day as she cried for herself for the first time, she took the decision to quit some of her side jobs, despite the fact that it would disappoint her parents. Annelies was so much overloaded in between her studies and side jobs back then she did not even find the time to write.
Knowing she is a very talented and gifted writer, this well-illustrates the mindset of her entourage, who never tried to understand her, but rather placed all sorts of pressure on her.
And, obviously, when in September 2017, Annelies had to introduce me to them and to her friends, she freaked out, knowing how harshly they would judge me, especially after hearing I shared the same passion with Annelies and wanted to abandon my engineering career to write novels, and that, on top of coming from Lebanon.
On top of all that, because of what happened in her childhood, Annelies always thought the divorce was her fault, and it made her powerless in front of Red-Oak, in the sense that she never dared to confront him.
And when she showed her confusion about me to him, Red-Oak entirely misunderstood her and decided to act, and to encourage Annelies in the wrong direction she had taken, forcing her, to either confront him, or to keep silent. She, because of her childhood trauma, kept silent, knowing, trusting, I would one day understand, and guiding me secretly, by sending me writings, and by communicating later on through the closed blogs.
It is Red-Oak who did what he did. It is his hand who did it. Annelies would have not done it. But he was like a truck launched on a highway. She could not prevent him from doing it, without unmasking herself.
And this is why I am now holding Red-Oak accountable for all what has happened to me, and to his own daughter.
Annelies was a victim of her family and her society.
This does not mean all the Netherlands is like that. But, in her case, and because of her character (sweet, idealist, highly emotional and sensitive) the emotional closeness and dryness and judgemental attitude of the persons around her greatly disrupted her.
This is why Finuë chooses to die with Harganith. It is the way of Annelies to tell me that my pain is hers. At the end, Finuë gives her loyalty and her heart to Harganith, and not to the Chief Elf who is her father.
And this is what is also going to happen in real life, in our story. Annelies, despite all what happened six years ago, made her choice already.
She wants Harganith to teach a small lesson to the Chief Elf, and teach him that Elves and Dwarves can live in Peace, and respect and value one another. She also wants Harganith to teach the Chief Elf that his daughter is Free to follow her heart, and become a poetess and a writer, and that he should only love her and support her decisions.
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And this is my daily video from the garden. We are expecting the coldest storm in the last ten years, starting from tomorrow!
