Formula 1 driver

In my early youth, one of my dreams was to become a Formula 1 driver.

It is very ironic, because I generally dislike cars, because they are polluting, noisy, and because I easily get dizzy inside of their habitacle. I'd much rather walk, or run, or bike.

But, around age 7, I watched my first Formula 1 race and became passionate by that sport. I still remember for instance the race that took place in Australia (once per year), and how I had to wake up at 5 am to watch it, because of the difference in time zones.

And I organized races with my siblings, my cousins, with every vehicle I could find, such as scooters and bikes. I had received a chronometer, and I used it to calculate exactly how fast we could do one lap. I also built circuits myself, designing their routes (small ones, of course, for scooters race). 

And a few times, some years later, my parents brought me to a karting circuit in Zouk, a town in between Beirut and Amchit, and I drove a kart. I was really fast I think. The karting circuit is at the beginning of the long, winding road to reach the ski slopes of Faraya and Mzaar. 

When I watched Formula 1, I always supported the underdogs. Except for Jacques Villeneuve in 1997, the pilots I supported never won. I supported Jacques Villeneuve because he had lost his father in a race, I had read. 

I was born in the 1991, but after I got passionate by Formula 1, I studied its history since the 1950s. Another unfortunate pilot who fascinated me was Ayrton Senna. 

One day, I abruptly stopped watching Formula 1 races, as I realized it wasn't really my true dream to do that of my life. Race cars were getting too technological, removing any possibility to pilots to make the difference with their skills.

I also had a phase in which I dreamt to be a soccer player. I, for the French Baccalaureate sports exam, chose soccer. And that day, I scored two goals, and made two decisive passes. One of these goals was really beautiful. I liked to play as a striker.

But on normal days I was less lucky scoring, and was only an average player.

In fact the sport where I was the most gifted was athletism, short and long races, whether on speed or endurance. I used to run every year the international marathon of Beirut (10 kilometers) for instance.

Despite being an intellectual person, I was good at sports.

I swam all summer long, skiied all winter long, even though these are not my favorite sports. Growing up, I started jogging all year long.

I am a really gifted ping pong player. I played a bit of tennis too. And, what I loved the most, was playing soccer.

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It is at around 8 or 10 years old I for the first time told myself, one day I will write a book. One day I will become a writer. But what kind of book exactly, I didn't know.

I became excellent at creative writing at school. The teachers asked for 2, 3, 4 pages, and I wrote in the same laps of time 8, 9, 10 pages, always getting the highest grades.

At 15 years old I started writing my first spontaneous poems. At 17 years old I won the 2nd prize of a writing contest organized in honor of the 100th anniversary of the Mission Laïque Francaise in between all the French schools of Lebanon.

At the American University of Beirut I took two creative writing classes, and started writing the 30 first pages of my first novel.

Then, during my last year at AUB things got more serious, as I started doing research to write a historical novel. 

And it is at the Ecole Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne that I came the closest to completing the writing of a book, a historical-fantasy novel co-written with Annelies Broeders, the Faerie Princess.

When did I exactly know I would one day become a writer?

I knew that at 17 - 18 years old. But perhaps I got a stronger certainty at 21 - 22 years old, during my last year at the American University of Beirut.

And after meeting the Faerie Princess, I discovered another person in the world shared my exact dream, and my exact vision.

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Therefore, my dream of becoming a writer was much stronger and much truer respect to my child's dreams of becoming a Formula 1 driver, or a soccer player.

And for the anecdote, I have my driving license. I do not drive in my daily life. But in the past, when I drove, I did in a slow and prudent way. For me it is meaningless to do speed while driving, as it can endanger the life of passersby. It is mostly my grandfather who taught me to drive, when I was eighteen years old. Later I got experience driving by taking my siblings and other family members to the mountains to do hikings I organized. Some of the most beautiful hikings I did were in Mechmech, a small town at 1200 meters height, in the Cedar Forest of Jaj (around 1800 meters height) and in the Cedar Forest of Tannourine.

But, in the last years, I had no time for that. Writing and taking care of the garden and the little creatures who live there takes all my time. And my heart is heavy because of what happened, of the unfairness I lived. Since 2018, I stopped having fun in my life. All recreational activities were eliminated. Something broke, and was never repaired since. I am still waiting for Red-Oak and Green-Rose, and for Little-Flute, to give me Justice.